Most of us in the miles and points community are in a privileged position where taking an extra flight (or two) is quite doable. Even if our family budget doesn’t allow it, I usually have some spare miles that I can burn without regret. That being said, due to various restrictions, my ability to generate extra points via sign-up bonuses has been significantly curtailed in the last few years. And honestly, I don’t blame the banks. I wouldn’t approve myself either.
So, I have to be somewhat careful not to burn miles too fast where we are left with nothing for trips we actually have to take. That’s what caused a conflict in the family a few days ago.
My sister-in-law is visiting us at the moment. She recently got married and moved to Michigan, so it’s been quite an adjustment. For all of us, not just her. She has lived across the street from us ever since my daughter was born. As a result, she got very close to my kids and basically views them as her own. 
My SIL exploring nature with my two kids
As you can imagine, living in a different state causes her quite a bit of heartache. It’s not something that can be changed, but a heart wants what a heart wants. That’s why when she asked me to send the kids to Michigan last month (accompanied by my MIL), I simply couldn’t say no. So, I burned some AA miles and Southwest points, and off they went. And my husband and I got to have an amazing adventure of our own, exploring the island of Saba in the Caribbean.
I did talk to him and we agreed that we would only send the kids to Michigan once a year. Since we are planning to visit my SIL as a family next April, that would have to be it for 2024. But then my SIL found out that me and my husband are going to Peru, and asked if the kids can go to Michigan at the same time.
I asked why she can’t just fly to Florida, and she countered that there are many neat places in Michigan that she can’t wait to explore with my kids. And of course, my son was there when we were having the conversation. He started begging me to let him go, to which I have countered that I was planning to book him a Hyatt stay in Florida. I also reminded him that he is afraid to fly without me and my husband there.
To my shock, he said he is ready to give up Hyatt and visit his aunt instead. He also mentioned that he is no longer afraid to fly, and that he will be fine on the plane without us. Great. I told my SIL that I only have a limited amount of miles and she immediately offered to cover the tickets.
As much as I was tempted to take her up on this offer, I knew it would be a mistake. I can just imagine my new BIL’s reaction when she gives him the news: “Honey, we will get to host my niece and nephew twice in two months. But wait, it gets better! The parents let us pay for flights while they jet off to Peru.” He is a super nice guy and would do anything to make my SIL happy, but this is a bit much.
So, I said No. Later that evening, my MIL and SIL brought the kids home and started begging my husband to basically override my decision. To his credit, he wouldn’t budge either. Off topic, but if you are planning to get married, my advice is to side with your new wife over your family. Always. Well, unless she is a lunatic. Wait a minute…
Anyway, my SIL stormed off and my MIL left in tears. I felt awful about the whole thing. You may say that is a sad predicament to be in: someone is begging me to watch my kids (for free) and even pay for their flights. After thinking about it some more, I asked my husband if we should just go ahead and allow it. To which he gave me the death stare and went: “So, I just told my mom and sister to go pound sand and you changed your mind thirty minutes later? No, no, no.”
I didn’t sleep well that night. I knew I messed up and wasn’t sure how to fix it. Fortunately, my husband texted me the next morning and told me the decision is mine. He said it’s not fair to let his pride be the determining factor in this situation. So, I called my SIL and told her she can have the kids. But under one condition: we cover the flights. She was so happy, which made me happy.
I did have some spare Delta miles after switching our New York flight to Jet Blue. I found roundtrip tickets from Fort Myers to Detroit for only 22k per person, which seemed like a good deal. Delta usually gives better pricing on roundtrip itineraries, so that’s what you want to check first. After using my 15% cardholder discount, I only have 3k Delta miles left. Will I ever get approved for Amex Delta card again? Perhaps not. But we will worry about it later.
One thing I’m thinking about doing is applying for Air France KLM Elite World MasterCard that currently offers 70k miles after spending $2k in 3 months. The offer (non-affiliate link) is the highest ever, and the miles can be used on Delta. I’m seeing 13k-15k miles one-way pricing from Florida to Detroit, though flights often leave at less than ideal times.
Still, the bonus will almost cover three roundtrip tickets for my kids and MIL, and that’s not too shabby. It looks like a trip to Michigan will be an annual tradition for my family. On the plus side, my husband and I can venture off to some exotic destination knowing our kids are having a great time with someone who loves them as much as we do.
There are worse things in life.
Author: Leana
Leana is the founder of Miles For Family. She enjoys beach vacations and visiting her family in Europe. Originally from Belarus, Leana resides in central Florida with her husband and two children.
Probably your family assumes you have near-unltd points & miles (or the ability to quickly generate) because of your job & where they see you going/frequecy.
I always ask myself in those same situations if it’s a trip I would still do if I had to pay cash for the tickets…if it’s important enough then I go for it whether using points or cash. Sounds like the Michigan trips are important enough to you to reprioritze you own personal travel goals to accommodate. You’re “paying” for more than just a plane ticket for your kids – you’re also allowing them quality family time with a tour guide who deeply cares you aren’t also having to pay! That’s worth a whole lot…
@Pam All good points. This Michigan thing is a new development for our family, and something we will have to plan for each year. My husband and I are looking to send the kids there each summer for a week or so, and go off on our own adventure. Seems like a win-win situation, aside from spending extra miles. But yes, it’s important to me to give them this quality time with my SIL. My parents can no longer come to the United States, so I’m grateful for the fact that they can at least see the other side of the family on a regular basis.
Really is ideal since she obvs has the energy & interest along with your implicit trust in her. And her own circumstances could change – grab all that value added while you can & your kids still have the desire to go!
I can understand your hesitation about letting them pay for their flights. But as far as visiting, I say send them however many times they get invited! I love that your family actually wants to spend time with your kids.
@Nancy Yeah, that would be really uncool to let them pay cash when I have miles available. I told my SIL that as long as I have points, I will cover the tickets for my kids and MIL.
I don’t know why I made such a fuss. As my husband said, I have a hard time deviating from the grand plan of my own making. Everything has to be on schedule. But who cares, I’ll cobble up more miles somehow.
Leana….a little off topic from this subject, but who many cards can you have without being denied a new one ? I see at the end of the article that you are thinking about the Air France card. I have about 8 cards, as well as a couple of business cards. On the cards that have benefits to spend $15k to get a free night (hyatt, hilton amex), I have already met so I have about 4 months left in the year now to use on what I thought would be a new card and get a big bonus. I tried to open a Cap One Venture card 2 nights ago and was denied. It was the first time I have ever been denied. My credit score is over 800. I just got the letter last night from Cap One saying I was denied because I have too many open cards. So I am curious as to when you open a new card, have you cancelled other cards before applying for the new one so you don’t have too many open cards at once, and is there a limit on how many cards you can have open at once ?
Thanks Leana,
Tom
@Tom That’s a good question, and the short answer is “it depends.” Most banks have their own approval algorithm, but even then YMMV
We’ve put together a post awhile back listing some restrictions for each bank, though it likely needs updating https://milesforfamily.com/2017/12/04/new-card-approval-restrictions-bank-issuer/
To be honest, I’ve stopped counting how many cards I’ve opened in the last two years. I simply apply for what looks lucrative and if denied, I move on with my life. I never let it ruin my day. I will say, Capital One has been the toughest bank for me. I haven’t ever been able to get approved, and I’ve tried many times even when my credit was relatively pristine. My husband got approved for Venture X, which was a shocker. We will probably hang on to the card for foreseeable future, and it’s a good value anyway despite the steep annual fee.
On Air France card: I’ve just applied and was…denied. No shocker there. So I applied in my husband’s name and he was approved. The only difference is that he has one BoA card, and I currently have two. Otherwise, we have a similar number of inquiries in the last two years. So with some banks it does indeed help to have fewer open cards.
Thanks for responding Leana. I feel a little bit better now that you got denied as well – this was my first denial, so my ego got bruised and I was wondering if I hit some sort of limit on the # of cards and that I am now shut out for a while. But I guess in this game, you just have to learn that if you get rejected, don’t take it personally and just move on to the next one.
Thanks again Leana !!
Tom
@Tom Sure thing! And yes, rejection in this hobby is part of the deal. Never take it personally because it’s not. On to the next one.