So, in a few days, my husband and I will be going on an anniversary getaway. I’m super excited, especially about sleeping in late and just uninterrupted sleep, period. Sleep, I’m getting some sleep…
Where was I? Well, the other day I was reading an article encouraging stay-at-home moms (and moms, period) to go on vacation by themselves. Apparently, it’s all the rage. Everyone does it and loves it!
So, I started thinking maybe I should go somewhere by myself too, have some quality “me” time. No, blogging doesn’t count. It’s narcissistic and “me” alright, but not exactly relaxing. I pitched the idea to my husband, and shockingly, he said Yes! He told me he would take care of the kids and all the household tasks (yeah, right).
It is interesting that no one ever suggests a guy goes on vacation by himself. What do you think of when you hear it? Affair!!
But for some reason, it’s totally acceptable for a gal to do it. Yes, I know what you are going to say. It’s a double standard, don’t knock it.
But here is the thing. I don’t like to do things without my husband. Yes, I know, this makes me sound very “fifties” and uncool. Amigos, I’m a SAHM, that ship has sailed a long time ago. The only time I vacationed without him was when my sister-in-law’s friend cancelled her cruise to Alaska and I ended up going instead. My husband just started a new job, we had no kids, so I went. It was fun, sure, but it just wasn’t the same without him. I’m so glad we’ll have a chance to do it together as a family next May.
I like sharing travel memories with my husband, and quite frankly, I still like him. And I think he likes me too, even after all these years. At least, that’s what he says. He certainly has no desire to vacation without me. Well, to be fair, he just doesn’t like to go anywhere, period. His favorite thing in the world is taking a nap in his own bed. I like to joke that he is an old men stuck in a semi-young men’s body.
But even though he gets grumpy on trips, I still want him around. I want “us,” not “me” time. Plus, I like to have an audience for my rants. Live audience, that is.
I know many have enjoyed doing these sort of trips, so I’m not here to knock other people’s experiences. There isn’t anything wrong with it, it’s just not for me. But I’m wondering, what am I missing? Have you done a solo trip, and how did it go? Please, share.
Image courtesy of David Castillo Dominici at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
Author: Leana
Leana is the founder of Miles For Family. She enjoys beach vacations and visiting her family in Europe. Originally from Belarus, Leana resides in central Florida with her husband and two children.
I have had a bit of solo travel “forced upon me” occasionally when traveling for work and ending up with half a day or more before my flight home etc. At first, I just “wasted” that time working at the hotel lobby. I was so used to traveling with my spouse that doing things without her did not seem worth it. However, I soon realized I was missing out on some chances to see more of the world, and so more recently I have been sight-seeing on my own, including museums etc. Now I find that I can enjoy this for about a day or so . It does take getting used to, no doubt about it, start small…
@Uri When the solo trip is forced upon you, that’s a different story! Sure, when you have to be somewhere on business, why not do some sightseeing while you are there. I totally agree, and I would do the same thing. It would be a shame to waste the opportunity. Thanks for chiming in!
My husband and I have sorta done trips by ourselves separately. He is a cyclist and has gone on a few overnight trips by himself for an organized race. Sometimes, the kids and I accompany him if our schedules work out. I went on a trip without him and my kids earlier this year to Disney World (although I met a friend there, not sure that counts?) And on a few occasions we’ve gone separately to visit family, but we usually take at least one kid with us. In general, though, I prefer us traveling all together. 🙂
@Shoesinks I can understand why your husband would go alone on short cycling trips. It’s pretty hard to pack up the entire family only to spend one or two nights in a hotel, especially if one spouse is gone the entire time. That makes perfect sense. Him and Cheapblackdad should pair up!
Oh,and doing a trip with a friend is different. I was mostly curious about solo vacations. It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this concept, but probably, because I haven’t done it. It could be good for my mental state, I suppose. I don’t know, maybe if I tried it, I would enjoy it? That’s why I was clear that I wasn’t criticizing others for doing solo-type travel.
Occasionally, I feel like I want to go five minutes up the road and get myself a hotel where I can just watch TV, read and sleep. Sounds like heaven to this WAHM. But when it comes to actually going away without my spouse, I kind of like him around and really don’t want to do a trip without him. After 17 years, we still like each other, and I guess that’s a pretty good thing. A trip sans kids is another story. I’m usually game for that.
@Jennifer I totally relate! I have wanted to do this as well: Get a hotel nearby and just rest. I suppose that would be a good compromise, but I’m too cheap to use my points in such manner, he he.
I love my kids, but they drive me nuts at times. I keep saying we will do a longer trip without them, but so far, it’s only been for 2 nights. I thought about flying out of state, but it hasn’t materialized yet. Maybe next year. My husband hates flying, so I have to be selective since he could veto a family trip in the future.
I can’t truly imagine a trip on which I wouldn’t prefer my wife to be with me for a good portion of it. I can wrap my head around trips where it would be fine if I were solo, but I’d still prefer her company
However, for more of my hobbyish type stuff, like biking, I can see myself doing a hobby specific trip without her, as there may not be as much value for her/us if the hobby portion took up so much time. For example, I’ve always wanted to go ride the Tour de France routes, or head out to California and ride the Tour de California route. But still, I’d want her to come with on the trip, and we’d just split up while I do my rides and she did something she valued.
Actually, I am not sure my wife has a really solid hobby like I do. Wow. Maybe we should do something about that.
@Cheapblackdad I just knew that stock photo would lure you in! 🙂 I hear what you are saying. When you have totally different hobbies, it’s hard to plan a trip that will appeal to both spouses. I guess that’s where a resort-type lodging would come in handy. Of course, those tend to be on expensive side.
My husband is a relaxed type who wants to do nothing on trips, that’s why he loves cruises. I’m the opposite, I want to see and experience as much as I can, especially when going to a new location. But I have to take his wishes into account, which is why many times I’ll wait till he is done napping and then we go somewhere together. It’s hard because I’m super restless and he is…not. But I suppose the fact that we are so opposite in everything is a good thing for our marriage. I don’t think I could handle a husband who is just like me. We would both be exhausted from drama!
I must say, biking is a wonderful hobby to have. Good for your health and low recurring costs past the initial investment. Cheaper than going to a gym! I hate exercising, but it’s a necessary evil, especially when you get older.