If you are new to this hobby, you may be wondering how free travel can possibly have a negative impact on someone’s life. Makes no sense, right? If you love to travel and discover a way for banks to subsidize it, how can it be a bad thing? But the reality is a bit more complicated.
The danger of lifestyle inflation and over-optimization
If I had to paint a psychological portrait of an average miles and points hobby participant, I would describe him/her as a compulsive optimizer with serious control issues. That is who usually sticks around for more than a year. I don’t mean to generalize or offend anyone, as I possess those traits as well.
It goes without saying that even if you utilize miles and points for flights and hotels, there will be other costs. If you were going to spend cash on a specific trip anyway, great. But it rarely works that way. Sure, most folks start out with modest goals to maybe fly to Florida for spring break and visit relatives once a year. Get a few credit cards and boom, you are set.
However, the more miles and points you/I collect, the stronger temptation there is to dream bigger. Much bigger. It doesn’t help that seemingly everyone visits Maldives a few times per year while only burning miles on first-class seats. After awhile, signup bonuses are no longer enough, so you start dabbling in manufactured spending. Reselling comes next, and before you know it, you are sitting on millions of points and not enough time off to use them. But hey, it’s an investment in future travel. Oh no, you would never consider cashing out MR points via Schwab Platinum card at 1.1 cents apiece. That’s crazy talk.
In the meantime, you have spent a small fortune on gift card fees and other hidden costs, while ignoring various cash back opportunities. Why go after cash when 80k miles can get you a seat that costs $5k? Sure, award availability is a problem, but there is always next year. Except when a program doubles mileage costs for your coveted redemption. That’s when resentment comes in along with paranoia. Bloggers, other people in the hobby… you hate them all for ruining your dream.
Maybe you were happy to stay in a Hyatt Place before you discovered this hobby, but everyone else is burning points on Park Hyatts. Why pay 20k UR points for a room that costs $450 when you can spend 45k points for a hotel that goes for $2k or more per night. It’s a much better deal and CPP you can brag about. Plus, it’s not like you are hurting for points after doing all that tedious work of manufactured spending and reselling anyway. You’ve earned it.
Speaking of, while staying at Park Hyatt, you’ve decided to treat yourself to breakfast, which is AMAZING. Unfortunately, you are not a Globalist, so it cost you a good bit of money. Wouldn’t it be nice to get it for free next time? Plus, you already have some Hyatt stays coming up this year anyway, and will only require 12 extra nights to reach Globalist. Off to do some mattress running you go. But hey, it’s not a waste, it’s a bonus vacation. And you can always spend $5k on your Hyatt credit card to get extra elite nights.
Naturally, you will also spend $15k on Amex Hilton Surpass to get that free hotel certificate, plus all the extra points. The problem is, you want to use it for a weekend at that fancy SLH hotel you’ve been drooling over for a long time. So, you put another $15k on your wife’s credit card to get that other night as well. Sure, $30k in spending is a lot, but it’s an investment because that hotel goes for $1,500 per night. Yes, there is airfare cost to get there (via UR points transfer) and food at the hotel costs a fortune. But you can’t put a price on memories, right?
Why yes, yes you can. You might have seen me mention Citi Shop Your Way credit card before. It’s an obscure product, but the return on spending has been nothing short of amazing. To be clear, all of my offers are targeted, so I can’t guarantee that you will get them as well. But here are just a few examples. Right now I’m getting 10% cash back on groceries, gas and restaurants for the rest of the year. That’s on top of regular return, which is decent at between 3-5%, depending on category. On top of it, I got an offer of 200k points (equivalent of $200) on online spending of $750. Since I buy groceries from Kroger.com, I’m actually double dipping.
If I were laser focused on getting that free hotel certificate from Amex Hilton Surpass (a card I have), I would never even consider applying for this obscure Citi product. We simply don’t have the bandwidth to pursue both goals. To be sure, I could get creative, but it’s simply more effort than I’m willing to put into this whole scheme. I would rather take fewer trips. Again, maybe you feel differently, and I’m not here to tell folks what to do. I simply want to encourage readers to have an honest look at what their points cost them in terms of time, effort and money. As Dr. Phil would say (I can’t stand that guy), how is that working out for you?
I do take advantage of easy opportunities that still present themselves regularly. I will absolutely pursue miles via signup bonuses, because that’s an equivalent of buying them at a very low cost. Ditto for hotel points. And I do spend a good bit of money on annual fees, though I plan to cancel or downgrade a few cards in the upcoming months. Paying annual fees is often worth it, especially if you can take advantage of a lucrative offer like one that will soon expire on Capital One Venture Rewards (our affiliate link). See related post for more details.
But it is a constant struggle to stick to what works for my family instead of pursuing other people’s dreams. I am affected by peer pressure like everyone else, and it takes discipline to resist some “no-brainer” deals, like upgrading to ANA first-class while paying $400 per person in fuel surcharges. It was a stellar deal for some, just not for my family. We recently stayed at Hyatt Place in NYC and it was perfectly fine. I would totally do it again and frankly don’t see the need to spend more points. We also recently got great value by burning Choice points on Comfort Inn Victoria London. Not a luxury hotel, but a perfect location and they even gave us free breakfast.
Of course, I don’t fault other people for splurging on luxury. Who am I to tell others how to spend their money or points? But we are a middle-class family on a budget, so it presents certain limitations. We simply can’t compete with families who make $200k per year or more, and that’s OK. Apples and oranges.
Add in a few major financial setbacks (like we had in the last few months), and travel becomes a luxury even when you use points. It doesn’t help that in just a few years we will have an avalanche of new bills. My daughter will be graduating high school, and my husband wants to buy her a car. It will be a used one, for sure, and my MIL plans to contribute $4k as a graduation gift. But we are looking at $10k expense, at least. On top of it, I promised her a trip to Japan and plan to follow through. But I made it clear that we will have a strict budget.
We were planning to get a family car when our current van got to 200k miles. Well, that happened a few months ago.
My husband and I talked about it and decided that we will keep on driving the junker for the foreseeable future. If it ain’t broke, and you know the rest. We simply can’t afford a car payment at the moment, not with all the other plans. And I wasn’t willing to give up our family trip to Peru/Easter Island booked for 2025. It helps that I’m not a car person and don’t feel the need to impress other moms at the school parking lot. If the van breaks down in a near future, we will probably dip into Roth IRA, since we can access our original contributions without penalty at any time. But for now, we are kicking the can down the road.
One of the reasons for the tight budget is the fact that we are contributing more money to my husband’s 401(k). I wrote a post 3.5 years ago outlining our goal for my husband’s early retirement or at least scaling back to part-time. So far, we are staying the course through market highs and lows. Of course, there are no guarantees and I’ve seen a few market crashes since I moved to USA 26 years ago. But driving a junker van seems like a small price to pay for a chance at financial freedom, it’s no sacrifice at all.
Future travel plans
So far, I have resisted making too many cutbacks when it comes to travel. This is my passion, and something that gives me real joy. My kids really appreciate it too, and my husband… well, he tolerates it. It was very gratifying to be able to take my son to London, something he has been asking me to do for a few years. He thanked me for making his dream come true. I also won’t forget the look of joy on my daughter’s face while we were watching The Phantom of The Opera in an old London theater.
It’s an immense privilege to give the gift of travel to my relatives in Belarus. This is what it’s all about. The memories we create with the help of miles and points is not something I would ever take for granted.
However, realistically speaking, some changes will need to be made. I have told my mom that it will likely be at least three years until we can arrange another family reunion in Europe. It’s extremely costly, not to mention complicated. Again, I don’t regret it one bit, but the logistics of it all are quite straining for our family budget. Fortunately, she understands.
Sometime back, I set a goal of planning at least one special trip each year with just my husband, beyond a local beach getaway. We’ve been fortunate to jet off to Costa Rica in 2022 and stay in Nayara Tented Camp via free upgrade. It was an amazing experience and a splurge-worthy treat. Then there was a trip to Saba last year, another unforgettable getaway.
Finally, we just went on Alaska cruise a few months ago, and have another cruise in the Caribbean planned for next year. While I used points and status matches to offset some of the costs, in each case we still spent a good bit of money. It was 100% worth it, but we will have to go back to using points on beach getaways in our state of Florida starting in 2026. Cue the tiny violin.
The truth is, if I stopped traveling completely starting tomorrow, I would still feel like I hit the lottery. And I don’t even gamble!
Author: Leana
Leana is the founder of Miles For Family. She enjoys beach vacations and visiting her family in Europe. Originally from Belarus, Leana resides in central Florida with her husband and two children.
@Boonie Yup, nothing wrong with scaling back. Sometimes other goals take priority.
It’s OK to scale back or even take a breather, other things in life take priority. You don’t necessarily have to hop on a plane all the time, drive somewhere. You can still feed that passion!
@Debra Wow, thanks so much for your wonderful comment! Maybe our paths will cross one day, you never know.
Oh man, I can’t believe it’s been 11 years since this blog was born. Looking back, I have to admit there were quite a few cringey posts and perhaps I tried too hard to stand out with this quirky site. I’ve always been on the “weird” side and didn’t really fit in in my own country. I always tell folks not to judge all Belarusians based on interactions with me, LOL
But I’m glad a few readers like you stuck around regardless. THANK YOU! I have to admit, I almost quit a few times and did actually quit for real once. But writing is one of my passions and sharing my family’s travel experiences is always fun, even if time consuming. I truly hope to help and inspire readers in a small way. Getting Nancy involved has been wonderful . She is one of the reasons the blog isn’t dead (yet!). We mostly treat it as a hobby, and don’t try to hit target numbers. If we did, we would probably turn off the lights by now, so to speak.
I can’t believe you remember that recliner with a big hole in it. So, good news, we got it replaced four years ago. But there is a twist. It was my late FIL’s old recliner and my MIL was throwing it out. Not on my watch! But it matches the rest of the furniture and has no holes. Boom.
@Kathryn K Well, I’m most definitely a compulsive optimizer with serous control issues. Makes it hard to live in the moment, but I’m working on it.
I completely understand needing time for home maintenance. We are in this boat now, and will need to get some things fixed over Labor Day weekend. In fact, I told my husband that my gift to him is not scheduling a beach trip like we normally do. He was happy, as he prefers to sleep in his own bed. But he has told me before that he is grateful I make him go places, as otherwise he would nap his life away. Apparently, I make his life interesting and exciting. I guess it beats “boring.”
I definitely recommend going overseas with a 13-year old. My son is that age, and he loved our recent trip, especially the London portion. Told me it was his favorite travel experience ever. Both of my kids also loved Japan, and I can’t recommend it highly enough. Please don’t ever hesitate to reach out for advice at milesforfamily@gmail.com
@Aleks Perfectly said and I agree with everything you wrote! As an Eastern European, I have a tendency to be very direct, and it has caused some problems in the past. It’s part of our culture.
Of course there is nothing wrong with going to the Maldives, and I hope I get a chance to visit it someday. It would probably have to be part of a longer trip in Asia, but I’m totally up for it. It’s not at the top of my list of places to visit or even in the top ten, but if somebody is hyper focused on getting there with points, I wouldn’t dream of ruining it with negativity. To each his own.
But like you said, there is a world beyond Maldives, Park Hyatt Vendome or Park Hyatt Sydney (where we actually had a chance to stay). If you don’t consider venturing beyond the obvious, you may be missing out.
For me, I’m finding that I’m more and more drawn to places off the beaten path. I really liked the island of Saba despite the fact that it has no points options. I’m looking forward to visiting Easter Island, and its remoteness is the big draw. Of course, that’s just me, and other people may prefer well known places with chain hotels. Nothing wrong with that.
I’m not an AvGeek and can’t understand the fascination with different seat designs. What the heck is herringbone anyway?
But yes, being able to lie flat is a huge benefit, especially for my husband. In fact, he is the reason I will try to get business class to Europe next time. He refuses to sit without me, so it would have to be for two people.
Leana – Appreciate you always keeping it real! I love your description of the points and miles personality type: “compulsive optimizer with serious control issues”, ha! I plead guilty 🙂
I have definitely felt the pull towards lifestyle inflation in terms of travel and find it a balancing act to let points and miles access places I wouldn’t otherwise while also keeping in mind the additional costs they bring (i.e., paying for parking and breakfast at a fancier hotel when a less expensive one would have both included).
Another factor I personally struggle with finding the right balance for is time – taking the time to travel versus having time at home to stay on top of maintenance and chores there, recover from busy work weeks, and participate in hobbies/activities.
However, I also feel we need to step it up and take some bigger overseas trips since my daughter is 13 and her time living with us is rapidly decreasing.
Hey Leana. I just wanted to say that I will ALWAYS read you as long as you’re producing content! I love your “voice”, that wry humor and common sense you have, your unique trip reports, all your high and low times with your family. You are seriously the only points blogger I’d actually want to meet in real life. I identify with you a lot also as far being an expat fully integrated into another culture, though I’m an American who’s forsaken the US for Germany, so it’s also quite a bit different.
Like you, I overplan. But thanks to gentle urging from my husband, the realities of travel with a young child (she’ll be 6 soon!) and the great luxury of longer vacation time in Germany, I shifted years ago to planning fewer destinations and itineraries that optimize sightseeing AND down time. Nothing is ever perfect, of course, but I am really proud of the balance I’ve achieved and I plan really, REALLY good trips! I have had a redemption or two that in retrospect was perhaps too influenced by “keeping up with the Jones’s” in the points world, so to speak, but only a couple times. It must be a lot harder to avoid temptation when you are actually producing points travel content yourself! But you seem very grounded. Just follow your “Bauchgefühl” (belly feeling), as we say in German. That means both embracing your passions AND listening to your intuition, correcting things as necessary. I think that’s already how you do things.
I’ve been coming here on and off and leaving the rare comment ever since I first got into this game back in 2013, wow! That can’t have been long after you started the blog, right?! I remember you comparing points bloggers to department store chains back in the day — Mommypoints was Macy’s, and I think One Mile at a Time was Nordstrom’s?? That was fun to read and pretty apt! And your junker van reminds me of this broken down recliner you once made a post about that has stuck in my mind for whatever reason, lol. I’m having some real nostalgia! Anyway, I love it all and I hope you never stop posting, traveling and keeping it real!
“Those redeyes are harder to handle the older we get.”
Agree on that, but I found that Premium Econ seats work well for me on trans-Atlantic flights, and they are easier to find vs Biz, and cheaper.
Very relatable, I concur. Lately I was contemplating about the same topic – the overall cost of travel per year vs the experiences and potential of switching it for some less costly alternatives. I keep a spreadsheet of past trips expenses and savings (used miles & points, statuses & specials); and honestly saved a lot of cash by being in this hobby. Without it I would still travel, just at less comfortable leisury style.
There are many truth in what you’re saying. I can add that travel has many health benefits as well, and it adds up to stay healthy and active – saving on medical care and drugs can be counted in the big picture. I.e., beach vacations typically bring stress relief, happiness, and overall well-being. Adventurous trips stimulate your mind and take you away from comfort zone and off the couch – motivating to discover new and try unexpected things. For me travel is investment in the present and future myself. And I won’t start on educational aspect of it, as that can go on and on…
On the other hand, like you mentioned, you don’t need to stay at 5-diamond luxury resort to achieve all above benefits of travel. It can be much simpler place, just good enough to serve your needs. Yes, there is some temptations to squeeze more value out of your points & miles stash, but only you know and judge what that “value” exactly is. It’s no one else’s business!
The cure to over-optimization is simplification!
I don’t book positioning flights, like some suggest.
I assign a set (low) value to all miles – mostly 1.25cpp, and if greater value achieved – hip hip hooray!
I’m OK flying in economy for under 5 hours, for longer flight will seek Premium Econ or business options. Getting to destination is only small part of your journey, so I don’t stress about it, but rather plan it to be as simple as possible: direct flights or minimal connection, easy car rental options, sometimes including one-ways for my convenience.
I’ll use whatever hotel points I have on hand if suitable accommodation present at where I’m planning to go, looking for a cheapest option in points (i.e. Hyatt in Krakow for 3,500 points in late summer).
I keep in mind that FNCs aren’t free as I pay CC annual fees for them or forgo cashback. So they are discount nights.
And like you, I don’t buy new cars – they are bad investment anyhow – costing twice as much compared to used ones (including extra maintenance).
It is good to dream big. Nothing wrong if your dream destination is Maldives – just make sure this is a place YOU WANT to go, not just over-advertised place others are bragging about. You can have a very similar experience in the Caribbean for half the cost and half the time getting there, minus jet lag and tiredness. Who said it’s not for you?
Personally I discovered many places in USA that are worth visiting time after time, with much of natural beauty and ease of access, relatively close by and underrated by travel community (which is a good thing – I don’t want them to become another Disneyland). Just do a bit of research on topics that matter to you.
Happy travels!
@Christian Agree with you totally on enjoying this hobby while having common sense. The post isn’t meant to shame anyone or make them feel bad about their choices. It’s more of a warning on how this whole thing can gradually turn into the “tail wagging the dog.” That said, we are all adults here.Some folks have a lot of disposable income and for them chasing status and points is a fun game of sorts. They don’t really care about opportunity cost, which is fair enough. Some go all-in on Hyatt currency/status and plan their vacations around that chain’s footprint. It’s not how I do things, but there is nothing wrong with that choice. The point is to find what makes you happy and also aligns with your financial goals. I’m still looking for that balance myself.
As far as some bloggers not having your best interest in mind, I hear you. We are all imperfect people. Some are honest, some not so much. The monetization model in this industry really stinks, it’s not conducive to being honest, unfortunately. It’s not an excuse, just a fact of life. I do try to give bloggers the benefit of the doubt, and I hope that others will extend the same courtesy to me. It’s very odd to get occasional comments saying we are lying and pushing affiliate links when in fact the link included in the post pays us nothing. You have to brush it off, but it just goes to show you the level of paranoia.
@Tyler Thank you for your kind words! We do hope to keep the blog going and I appreciate the encouragement.
I think “bizarre” is a good way to describe my family’s dual existence. On the one hand, we live in a small house and drive an old van. By the same token, you will occasionally find us in JAL business class and fancy hotels. It’s all very confusing to my daughter. In fact, the other day she asked me if we are living beyond our means. Hmm, probably, but not to the point that we may lose our house (which is paid off).
You said a lot that hits close to home. It’s certainly tough to avoid lifestyle creep although I don’t blame bloggers as long as they show integrity, as you do. In the meantime, enjoy the benefits while we can with a healthy dollop of common sense.
Thanks for keeping the blog going. I really appreciate your perspective. It’s so hard to find authentic voices like yours anymore!
With miles and points I’ve given my kids such a bizarre perspective for normal they are refusing to do long trips currently!
I agree, and since we have been smart about it, we all really did hit the lottery!
@GBSanDiego I really appreciate you sharing your journey so far. Glad me and Nancy could be of help.
Sounds like you are doing everything right, not that you need my approval! It’s all about identifying your individual goals and focusing on achieving those. I completely agree that using miles instead of cash on business class is the way to go. I totally get it, and occasionally indulge in it myself. We splurged on JAL business class since it was a 13 hour flight. In fact, I’m hoping to finally fly in business class next time we go to Europe. Those redeyes are harder to handle the older we get. But if it doesn’t work out, oh well, we will survive. It depends on the price and extra fees, plus our budget at the time. But going to Europe is an obligation for me, unlike most people. There are usually many moving parts, as well as expenses. Especially after full-scale invasion of Ukraine and subsequent isolation for Belarusians. At least flying with kids is much easier now, compared to taking my 18-month old in 2009 and dragging a car seat on the plane. Terrible!
I have been fortunate enough to keep my miles without cashing in. I only started into miles in 2017 bc my goal was to fly in biz across the pacific/atlantic. Revenue was definitely not an option and there was only one option left, miles (loyalty was also out of the question). I am the sole provider (miles) in the house, so I hit it hard from the start and have not looked back. I don’t do MS since I already have a full time job. I get the bulk from sign ups (I am up to a quarter of a million on Rakuten). As a couple, we have been on JAL/ANA first, Delta One (antique seats), & Condor biz. Last summer, my daughter came along in first.
This has only been possible bc I follow travelers, like you, and learn a lot (especially to avoid mine fields).
I give my hand out to you for flying kids and family bc I can’t imagine how difficult that is.
Thanks for reading, Matthew! I’m glad you enjoyed the post. The truth is, I often need a reality check on deals I should pursue vs. letting go. That’s the optimizer in me talking. 😉
It can get overwhelming, and my hope was to get folks thinking about these things and how they fit with their long-term goals.
Thanks for sharing! I found a lot of truth in here that we points people don’t like to admit to ourselves.