This post falls under “don’t count your chickens before they hatch” category, but I have an interesting dilemma on my hands. So, as I’ve mentioned on this blog before, next year I hope to take my family to Japan. The plan has undergone several changes since its inception. First, my in-laws were planning to come with us. Then they backed out. Then they once again decided to come. We were originally planning to stop in Hawaii only to trade it for a stopover in Vancouver, Canada.
Well, it looks like my in-laws won’t be coming after all, and that’s final (for now). I actually think it’s for the best because this sort of a trip would be a killer for someone who is in declining health. Also, my sister-in-law said the cost of the whole thing was just too overwhelming for her. Fair enough. I certainly don’t want her to go in debt.
So, it looks like I’m back to stopping in Hawaii on the way to Japan after convincing my husband to drop the expensive cruise. It also means I should have some miles to spare after recently signing up for Cathay Pacific credit card X2
I haven’t yet received the bonus on either card, but assuming all goes well, I can actually get one business class seat on JAL airline to and from US. And of course, since my husband is a big guy, he is the best candidate for the splurge. JAL consistently releases two business-class seats on their flights, so snagging one shouldn’t be an issue since we now have flexibility.
Originally, I was going to surprise him, but I thought I should ask how he feels about sitting apart from us. He said he absolutely does not want to be away from his kids. It’s either we all sit in business class or endure the flight in the bowels of economy. Obviously, the first option is off the table.
But there is a twist. My husband did say that I should sit in business class and let him take care of the kids in the back. He wasn’t passive-aggressive or anything, and pointed out the fact that I take care of them every day. He feels it’s his chance to “treat” me. He is a super sweet guy, which is why I married him. Hmm. I do take care of them every day, thank you very much! And they drive me nuts half of the time. On the other hand, it’s not like he goes to play golf.
Relaxing in business-class seat on award-winning Asian airline sounds mighty appealing, I’m not going to lie. On the other hand, what’s the point if your loved ones aren’t there to share the whole experience? Plus, in the event of an emergency, I would rather be with my family. A nice seat and fancy food don’t really mean a whole lot to me. Airplane is just a means to get me to my destination. I’ve survived 14 hours in the bowels of United economy class while sick, right by the bathrooms, and lived to tell the tale.
I have zero issues splurging miles on my husband who can truly benefit from business-class seat due to his bigger than average size. But me? I’m cheap. I wasn’t even willing to pay $150 premium on an exit-row seat for that 14-hour flight. Plus, it’s not like frequent flyer miles are easy to come by these days. Banks have tightened credit card approval restrictions, and my splurge may mean foregoing a family trip in a few years.
Then again, this could be me, relaxing during a 10-hour flight, in a seat that normally costs $4,000, yet requires only 25,000 extra miles:
So, I’m curious what you guys think. Which camp do you fall in:
A) Are you crazy? Accept the offer! This is your chance to experience something you can’t afford via cash.
B) Don’t do it. It’s a trap. Your husband will regret this decision few hours into the flight, and you will “pay” for the rest of the trip.
C) Do it only on the way back to US.
D) Save the miles and sit with your family in economy. You will survive just like you’ve survived that 14-hour flight. Use those miles for another trip.
Either way, these are obviously #firstworldproblems. How fortunate I am to be able to go to Japan in the first place, whether it means flying in economy or business class.
Author: Leana
Leana is the founder of Miles For Family. She enjoys beach vacations and visiting her family in Europe. Originally from Belarus, Leana resides in central Florida with her husband and two children.
I wouldn’t feel guilty during in a different class if he offered. That’s great. But, I’d have that emergency thing on my mind. If I die in a plane crash I want to go down holding onto my loved ones, not some random! AND – then you’ll have miles left over for the next trip which is a bonus.
Economy sucks. I was recently upgraded (by luck) Premium Economy on United and wow! That lounge extra inch really made the flight more pleasant. The way it used to be! But anyway, I always book Economy. I hate it, but if your flight leaves late at night hopefully you’ll all sleep and wake up before you know it.
@Talchinsky I think the thought of being separated from my family during an emergency is what scares me the most. I know it’s extremely unlikely, but still. Plus, what if one of my kids is sick? I would feel terrible leaving my husband on his own in economy section. Ugh, the deal seeker in me just wants to experience that lie-flat seat once! I sure can’t afford it with cash, but mileage price isn’t too bad.
Well, if one of the kids gets sick, I’m sure you can convince some good samaritan sitting near your family to upgrade to your seatt so that you can all be together! 😉
There’s definitely nothing wrong with letting dad take care of his own children, especially when he’s on vacation and offering to (and you do it all the time). So no need to feel guilty. It’s actually good for them. Father-children bonding is a good thing. And mother’s learning to relax is also good. It’s also a great example for your children, to see mom relaxing and dad in the caretaker role! The world is changing and we want them to be ready for it. It’s good for them to know that women can work and men can be caregivers.
I’m always expecting the plane to crash or my children to be kidnapped! (Those are my crazy issues) But if you are relaxed about that, then go for it. Experience the special seat and let your man carry a little of the mental load. Just my advice. You’ll know what’s best for you though.
@Talchinky Oh yeah, my husband definitely isn’t “ women belong in the kitchen, barefoot and pregnant” kind of guy. 🙂 If he is, he would be terrified to tell me!
Taking care of kids is a joint effort in our family. He just happens to have a busy career that keeps him away from home. Kids always beg to spend more time with him, and would enjoy having dad in economy instead of me. I’m not sure what I will do, to be honest. I’m kind of torn! Like I said, first world problems,
I think BC and Agnes got it right. You should try let your husband spend a few hours with the kids while you enjoy business class comfort and then switch, even if (especially if?) the kids fail to “do their part” and fall asleep… Mine never really sleep on planes
@Uri My kids don’t sleep on the planes a whole lot either. Too excited, I guess. But I will say, my husband is very good at dealing with them. Better than me, for sure. He doesn’t get as frustrated.
It’s a B from me.
@Amy Most female readers chose B option!
Get the business class seat. Let your husband sit with the kids for the first part of the flight, when everyone’s eating and watching movies and playing games. Once the kids start falling asleep, switch seats and let your husband sleep in the business seat.
@bc That would be the ideal scenario, for sure! I’m tempted.
A for me. Trade seat half way is a win-win. Better to have one than none. The kids might want to try it too 🙂
@Agnes Trading seats is a great idea, but he said he isn’t interested. Though he may change his mind after sitting in economy for few hours.
I second trading seats. Go visit them mid flight, and a big guy like him will jump at the chance. Plus in the event that he insists no you will feel less guilty, and he can’t make you pay (not like he would anyways) for the rest of your trip. It’s a great deal!
@Katye I agree. If I could just convince him to do it. But you are right, he will probably be more receptive to trading seats after sitting in economy for few hours.
I’d say get the business class seat. The miles difference isn’t that much and I think you’ll be able to fully enjoy it. Plus you’re spending all vacation together so a few hours apart isn’t a big deal, and it’ll be better to have only one sleep-addled parent instead of two. On the return, you can offer your husband the seat and if it’s been an exhausting vacation, I’m sure he would appreciate it a lot.
@ipod Thanks for your comment! I don’t sleep well on the planes (or anywhere really), so I’m not sure I would benefit from that perspective. My husband, on the other hand, can sleep literally anywhere.
I vote for D
@Hilde I hear you!
How many miles would you be saving? I may go for it because he may change his mind half through and be happy to have some rest time in front. That way you both may feel more rested when you land. Plus this trip has put a ton of pressure on you with all the changes!!
@Lynn Yep, this trip is making me exhausted, and I haven’t even begun redeeming miles! I’m debating on possibly getting one business class seat for the way back. Maybe I can convince my husband to switch with me midway through the flight. It’s 25,000 miles in economy vs. 50,000 miles in business class. Not exactly a small premium, but not terrible either, considering the length of the flight. But most likely, I’ll just get four seats in economy and call it a day.
D for sure since I know I wouldn’t be able to relax and wish I was sharing the experience with my family.
@Joyce That seems to be a common theme from the comments I’ve been getting today! Definitely something to think about.
You probably know what I will say….save your miles for another trip! Although it would be tempting. Could you really relax, wondering if your husband is dealing with chaos in the back? Then again, your kids will probably do just fine and maybe you should take the seat for research purposes. 🙂
@Nancy Haha! That’s a thought. Anything in the name of research. 🙂 Of course, it’s not like there is a shortage of JAL business-class seat reviews in the blogosphere at the moment. If anything, folks would benefit from a review of JAL economy seat.
Do you have the option of premium economy or exit row seats to give him some extra space?
@Bear Economy seats on JAL actually appear to be really good, all things considered. Decent width and leg room, and food gets great reviews. Premium Economy doesn’t appear to be worth the extra cost, plus they only release two seats. So, we would have to split up. The real deal is in redeeming miles on business class via Cathay Pacific program on certain routes. The exit row may be an option, so I will take a look at it when the time comes.
Sorry to say it, but I’m in camp B based on the fact that you’ve mentioned many times how much he hates travel and flying. I’m thinking 14 hours with two kids in economy by himself might not bode well. I’d be real sure he’s okay with it if you decide to take him up on the offer. Is there any convincing him to take it one way and you take it the other way just to even it out a bit?
Nope, he will not sit apart from the kids. I guess that’s what makes him a better parent! 🙂 The longest flight we would have is 10 hours, but that’s still a lot to be on your own with two young children. I even offered to trade the seat at a halfway point, but no dice.
I see now that it’s *only* 10 hours. I’m thinking you’re going to be well-rested and happy after the flight and will have to deal with three tired grumps. Still solid Camp B.