“I will exercise more and make my heart stronger. Just watch!”
My father-in-law was lying in a hospital bed, looking frail, yet defiant. It was hard for me to believe that not long ago (or maybe it seems not long ago) he was building our house. He’s been having heart problems over the last decade, but multiple surgeries provided a temporary fix. Not this time.
The doctor told him that his heart is in a very bad shape and there is nothing they can do. Well, they can adjust the meds etc., but it’s not the type of damage that can be reversed. The doctor did mention that most people in my father-in-law’s condition sit at home, unable to make more than a few steps. That made him very happy, as he loves to beat the odds! You won’t find him sitting on his rocker, he is always on the move. But the age…it catches up to you.
My father-in-law is a truly exceptional guy. Kind and honorable, he is the type of person I want my son to grow up to be.
Three generations
While raising three kids, the money was always tight for my father-in-law. Back then, middle-class families didn’t travel internationally. It was unheard of. But he sure made up for it when he retired. He’s been to Africa, Europe (several times), Canada, Hawaii and multiple Caribbean islands.
Enjoying the views in Madeira island (Portugal)
But there is one place he has always wanted to visit, and one that has eluded him so far: Australia. When my in-laws were newly married, they seriously considered moving there. There was a program that gave a path to Australian citizenship, and being the adventurous type, they decided to go for it.
Well, until they told my father-in-law’s mom. She went hysterical because she figured (rightfully so) that they would never see each other again. My father-in-law loved his mom more than he loved Australia, so they stayed in US. It’s a good thing, too, because I wouldn’t meet my husband otherwise.
But Australia beckoned, and finally we made a plan to go there this summer. Everything is booked and paid for. The question is: can my father-in-law handle such a difficult journey? When I asked him if perhaps it’s best to cancel, he was offended that I would even consider such a thing. Well, the heart, Pops, your weak heart! I guess if he kicks the bucket in Sydney, he will get his Australian “citizenship” and permanent residence. Oh yeah, we are leaving him behind 🙂
People often wait for the perfect time to travel: When I make more money, when my kids are older, when there is a non-stop route to my favorite destination. Some of those concerns are reasonable. If you are in debt (aside from mortgage and maybe car payment), you should probably put travel on hold or at least stick to cheap local getaways. I also think it’s best to wait till your kids are out of bulky car seats when planning faraway/exotic trips.
But I don’t believe there is such a thing as perfect timing. I can think of a million things in our house I can spend my money on. My philosophy is: if the roof is not leaking, A/C is blowing cold air, and there is food in the fridge, we are going on a trip. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Over the last year, my husband lost two relatives, both of them young. Making it to a retirement age, unfortunately, is not a guarantee. Another thing that’s not guaranteed is your health when you get there.
I really hope our trip goes as planned, but this is the end of faraway travel for my father-in-law, and he knows it. But at least we will always have the memories…
A few months ago, one of my readers has sent me a message and said I could publish it. This seemed like the perfect post for it:
“Recently I traveled to Barcelona with my mom, just the two of us. I got the tickets with miles and points, and she paid for the hotel and meals. Sadly, even though I knew that my mom had chronic pain due to her arthritis, the reality of her shape hit me hard during this trip.
She literally gets excruciating pain after she walks for two blocks, so you can imagine how hard traveling anywhere, let alone a walkable city such as Barcelona can be. The last two days of our trip, I stopped by a pharmacy and asked if they knew where I could rent a wheelchair. They pointed me to another pharmacy two blocks away where I could rent one for only 10 Euros per day.
Even though my mom had a hard time getting used to the idea of being pushed around in a wheelchair (tears included), I was able to convince her. It was awesome because she could finally see what Barcelona was all about.
But it was bittersweet. It really made me think how we have to find a balance between the ant and the grasshopper. You know that fable? The ant works hard all year so that she can have food for the winter, the grasshopper jumps around and has fun.
When you are young like me, it’s easy to forget that one day we may not be able to move around as easily. That’s why whenever I have the chance and I’m not putting my family’s financial well-being at risk, I jump at the opportunity to travel.”
Author: Leana
Leana is the founder of Miles For Family. She enjoys beach vacations and visiting her family in Europe. Originally from Belarus, Leana resides in central Florida with her husband and two children.
While we give our thanks to old people, remember they are the ones who have to put the rubbing, environment and the world in shambles. And they will single handedly drain the entire social security and Medicare before anyone else can use it.
Frankly we should pull the plug on them sooner than later.
@Leana, I hope you all have a wonderful and memorable trip. He deserves to see Australia especially if that’s his dream.
@Stephanie Thanks! I hope so too. Unfortunately, it’s totally out of our control. It’s sad to see my in-laws get old and frail. We sort of depended on them ever since we got married, and now the roles are being reversed.
Leana,
This post hits close to home. My mom is the person responsible for my passion of travel. We didn’t grow up rich but my mom had a good government job and despite not having a lot of fancy things or a brand new car my mom made sure we traveled every summer growing up in Brazil. Camping, road trips and every couple of years a domestic flight. She saved for years to take my brother and I to Orlando to visit Disneyworld.
But now she is 76 years old and got a knee replacement. Walking is much harder for her. But her love for traveling is unbeatable. She is taking a cruise to Alaska this summer with her friends from college 🙂 She wears a cane and book excursions as oppose to travel by herself. When she travels internationally she always request a wheelchair service from the airline (it’s free). It makes immigration a breeze and the person even helps with her luggage. My brother loves to travel with her so he can skip the huge immigration lines because of her wheelchair service 🙂
Maybe you can request for your in laws for your long journey to Australia.
You FIL is going to love Australia!
@Tania Your mom sounds amazing! She will love Alaska, I’m sure of it. A nice thing about cruises is that you can move as much or as little as you like. Room service is included, so there is always an option to do that if she has a hard time moving around.
My sister in law will be responsible for her parents, as we only plan to meet them in Australia for part of the trip. I think requesting a wheelchair is a wonderful idea. I’ll mention it to her. Unfortunately, I doubt my father in law will go for it, though he really should. He is as stubborn as they come, and refuses to admit any sort of weakness.
My mom’s a former French teacher and while she’s been to France she’s never been to french-speaking Canada. I traded in 50K Merrill+ points for tickets for her and my dad to travel to Montreal for their anniversary next month. Good use of the points IMHO.
@Nick That sounds like a good deal! I’m sure your parents will love Montreal. It’s definietly on the list of places I want to visit. I actually still have 50k Merrill points, just looking for the right opportunity to use them. Getting two $500 tickets would be ideal, obviously.
I think the two tickets cost something like $800-900, so it worked out well.
I’ve looked into doing a family trip to Montreal before. There’s a well-located category 2 Hyatt Regency there, but AA availability is difficult out of CLT.
Ahh, so true. This essay comes too close to home for many reasons. We do the best we can, but the sand continues sift through the hour glass…
@Russ Ain’t that the truth! I will be turning 40 next year. That just seems crazy to me.Then again, my FIL would love to be 40 again.
This post hits too close to home for me. I admire your FIL’s spunk and perseverance. I hope Australia is everything he expects and more.
@Nancy I’m sorry if the post made you sad. I was thinking of your dad’s passsing as I was writing it. It’s a sad topic, for sure. I was just talking to my husband yesterday that we need to prepare ourselves for the fact that my FIL won’t be with us much longer. But Im not sure you can truly prepare for something like that.
I take my parents with us on trips a few times a year – usually spring break to Jamaica. We have also taken them to St. Thomas and we’re taking them on a cruise next year.
It is A LOT of work! My mom has to be in a wheelchair at the airport due to double knee replacements. My 75-year-old dad can’t push her the whole time and neither one of them can really handle their luggage. This leaves my husband and I trying to deal with suitcases for six people(us, our kids, and my parents) and a wheelchair.
I love taking them places though. They wouldn’t travel without any help, so I feel good that I am helping them go new places. They enjoy the trips so much, even if the getting back and forth is hard. My mom will talk about a trip for six months before we go and another three months when we get back!
I do think it’s easy to take it for granted that travel isn’t that hard when you’re young. I’m glad we are able to travel while we still have our health.
@Holly I think it’s fantastic that your parents can still travel (thanks to your help). Most importantly, they are still able to enjoy it. I can’t even imagine the logistics of dealing with a wheelchair. That’s worse than a car seat! We may have to resort to having a wheelchair for my FIL, though he will definitely pitch the mother of all fits, and try to refuse it.