Imagine this: You plan your perfect vacation after dreaming about it for years. You book your flights, carefully picking out your ideal seat arrangement for your family. Then, when your vacation day arrives, you check in and discover your airline seat assignments have gone haywire and your family is separated in different rows. What?!?!
This is more common than you might think. It’s happened to my family several times in the past few years on long flights.
Why Do Airline Seat Assignments Change?
Many of us who book airline tickets using miles book flights 11 months in advance, or as soon as new schedules are available to book. For most of my trips, that’s the only way I’ve found award availability for five people.
But, a lot can happen in 11 months. Airlines switch out planes for another one with a different seat configuration. Low-selling flights can be eliminated. Or, schedules change, causing missed connections and necessitating new flight combinations.
Who Cares If Families Are Separated on Flights?
Well, the airlines don’t care, I can tell you that. But most parents do care, especially on flights that are longer than an hour or two.
For some, it’s a safety issue. If there is an emergency on the flight, do you trust the adults sitting next to your kids to help them out? If your kids are scared after turbulence, will they find comfort with a stranger?
On longer flights overseas where sleeping is expected, I admittedly don’t feel comfortable with my kids out of close range. Plus, my family often shares headphones, electronics and snacks.
So yes, even though my kids are older now at ages 8, 11 and 15, I still get upset if we get separated on long flights.
My Recent Experience with Seat Scrambling
My family’s seats changed on a trip to Hawaii and a trip to Vancouver (remember my rant?) But most recently, United split us up on our 12-hour return flight from Auckland, New Zealand to San Francisco.
I booked this flight 11 months in advance with all five of us in the same row. I only checked up on it (or babysat it) once a few months ago. Then just a few weeks before our trip, when I looked at our reservation I saw we were scattered across the plane. I was kicking myself for not checking on our flights more often.
My daughter and I were still seated together, but my middle son was moved to the way back of the plane by himself. My husband and oldest son were in different rows but in the same section.
The good news was that there was an empty seat next to me and my daughter. Unfortunately, I had to pay $20 to move my husband there since it was now labeled a more desirable seat. I got my son in the row behind us and my other son in the same row but across the aisle. It wasn’t a perfect layout for us, but at least we were now all close.
Upon boarding, other passengers were complaining about their changed seats. I felt bad for the man who sat next to my son across the aisle in the middle seat. His whole family got separated. But, the worst part for him was that he’s a very big man who now had to squish himself into a middle seat. He easily spilled into half of my son’s seat. But, my son is small and he could spare him the room. Better him than me or my husband!
Make It a Habit
I need to do a better job of “babysitting” or checking up on my family’s seat assignments. I got lucky that I was able to get us sitting closer on that last big flight. If I would have checked more regularly, I might have been able to get us all back in the same row again.
If you book your flights far in advance, I recommend checking on your flight schedule and seat assignments once a month. It doesn’t take long, and you could save yourself a big headache down the road.
Have you been separated from your kids on a long flight? Do you regularly babysit your airline seat assignments before a trip?
Click here to view various credit cards and available sign-up bonuses
Author: Nancy
Nancy lives near Dallas, Texas, with her husband and three kids. Her favorite vacations include the beach, cruising and everything Disney.
This happened to me a couple months ago. Delta MCO-JFK. I checked 2 days before and everything was ok. I didn’t pay more attention and checked in online. When I was at the gate I noticed we were in different rows (21A and 22A). I went to a Delta agent and explained the situation. She said she coulnd’t do much so I should board and ask for a fellow traveler to switch seats with me. I stayed calm and said: “Mam I am traveling by myself with a 6 year old. The moment he realizes we are separated he is going to cry. Coming to Orlando is very hard for him because he comes to visit his dad and he is very emotional. Don’t you think is easier for you to move one passenger now? Instead of me trying to control a sad kid plus negotiating seats during the boarding process?”. She told me to wait and then like magic I got 2 seats together and an upgrade to Delta Comfort. At the end of the ordeal I was ok, but why did they separate me?? 2 pax – 1adt/1chd. It does not make any sense.
@Tania I would be very upset if I got separated from my young child with just one day prior to the flight. So frustrating! I’m glad you were able to get seated together eventually.
I usually forget to do this. My husband and I once got separated on a flight back from Hawaii. It’s a pain when it’s a long night flight where you’d like to sleep. I just checked our seats for a family trip we have over Thanksgiving and we are still together thankfully, but I’ll continue to check as it gets closer. Thanks for the reminder.
@Jennifer I need to get in the habit of checking once a month so that I’m not scrambling. Our next flights are just to Orlando, Miami and Costa Rica, so they are shorter and not as big of a deal if we get separated.
It used to happen to me *all* the time. Now, as soon as I book a flight, I call the airline and explain that I’m traveling with a young child and that we’re can’t be separated. If there’s a partner airline involved, I call them too. Ever since I started doing this (mostly with United, American, and their partners) it hasn’t happened. I recommend calling up front. They often assign my seat and make a note highlighting my son’s age. It has been explained to me that when a plane change happens the computer automatically reshuffles things, and doesn’t take DOB into amount. The notes seem to help. I think they slow up like flags.
@Talchinski That’s a great strategy!
This happened to me for our flight home from Hawaii last year. I had booked four tickets on Alaska for me, my wife and our two daughters who were 4 and 2 at the time. I booked 2 seats through Chase portal and 2 with flying blue miles. Air France was going to charge me a significant amount to choose our seats more than a week in advance so I instead called Alaska to get the confirmation number and selected my seats on the Alaska website. I did this 9 months in advance. I kept checking every month and sure enough, one month before the flight they had given up the two flying blue seats with no new assignments and everything was full except two middles towardtbe back. I called and got a very nice CSR who moved all four of us up to a preferred row that is usually reserved for Alaska elite members. I will definitely continue babysitting my seat assignments for the foreseeable after experiencing this!
@Robert I’m glad you caught the seat change and were able to get seated together. And in a preferred row!
I have an upcoming flight on American Airlines with my 7 yo – 4 segments – I was only able to get us seats together for 3 of those. I did some research and made some calls (one customer service agent wouldn’t help but another did) and found out that it’s better to not pick seats and the airline will accommodate you. The first customer service agent told me I’d have to pay if I wanted seats together or just wait and hope for the best. I emailed and received a call back saying I could do that or call and have them take out my seat assignments and they will see that there is a “family” flying with a minor child and will seat you together. So that’s what I ended up doing – you do HAVE to call – and just checked and they put us in the seats you have to pay extra (front of the plane – which is good cause I only have a 40 minute layover – hoping my luggage makes it) for AND gave us better seats on the other flights as well.
@HML That’s an interesting strategy. I’m glad it worked. And seats up front….woohoo! I wonder if there is an age limit for that.