When I was a kid and I asked my mom for something, she’d sometimes reply with “We’re not getting that just so we can keep up with the Joneses!” According to Wikipedia, the phrase “Keeping up with Joneses” became popular because of a comic strip with the same name that ran from 1913 to 1940. The comic strip featured a family trying to match the socio-economic level of its neighbors, the Jones family.
People normally associate the phrase with material possessions, and that is especially evident at this time of year. What is the coolest/most popular toy for kids? What is the must-have gadget or device that everyone is buying right now? Will my kid feel deprived if he doesn’t have the “it” gift this year?
But I’ve noticed that since social media has infiltrated our lives, keeping up with the Joneses now also involves weekend activities and vacations.
What Vacations Are the Joneses Taking?
Based on my Instagram and Facebook feeds from my local friends, the Joneses in my area mainly go to three places: Disney World, Destin and National Parks. I think my family is seriously one of the few in my city who hasn’t been to the Destin area! I understand why it’s popular, though. Families can drive there in one day, and the beaches are prettier than the ones in Texas.
As a miles and points enthusiast and a travel blogger, I have another set of Joneses to watch. The Joneses in that group like going to the Maldives, Costa Rica, Hyatt Andaz Maui, Hyatt Vendome in Paris, Morocco, New York City over Thanksgiving week, Christmas markets in Europe, ski resorts over winter break, St. Kitts….I’m not sure where the next “it” place will be.
The Problem with Keeping Up With the Joneses on Vacation
The issue I have in trying to model vacations after where the Joneses are going is that the location or style of trip may not be a good fit for my family. I don’t want to visit a popular destination just because everyone else has a famous Instagram photo from it. So, I have to stop and ask myself if I’m planning a trip there for the right reasons.
A recent example is my decision to skip the Grand Canyon on our upcoming trip to Arizona. I know, who skips the Grand Canyon, right? Well, it’s too far from where we are staying, and I don’t think my kids would fully appreciate it on this trip.
Many of the places where the Joneses travel are destinations I’d actually love to visit, but they are just impractical at the moment. For example, I’d love to visit New York City to see the Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade in person. We watched it on TV this year and dreamed about being there in person someday. However, the reality of sitting outside in freezing temperatures for hours to get a spot and wait for the parade changed my mind.
Another problem with trying to keep up with the Joneses is that people aren’t always honest on social media about how much they are enjoying their vacations. All we see are the perfect photos with the landmarks in the background. We rarely hear about all the other stuff, like how the crowds/heat/walking were miserable or how the food really looks better than it tastes. Last spring, I posted photos of me and my kids in Washington, D.C. I’m sure it looked like a great trip, but if people read my blog post about it they would know that it really wasn’t a picture-perfect trip.
Don’t Ignore the Joneses
I’m not saying that you shouldn’t travel to popular places and avoid them because all the Joneses are going there. There must be a reason why those places are so popular, right? So don’t completely ignore where the Joneses in your life are traveling. They might have some great destinations you should consider.
Sometimes, we get stuck in a rut with our trips. We visit the same places over and over again because they are familiar and nostalgic. Paying attention to where other people travel gives us new ideas and different places to consider.
I actually love looking at people’s vacation photos on Facebook. I mean, I’m kinda obsessed with people’s vacation photos. I’m the type of person who would be excited to go to a party and see a slideshow of vacation photos.
Even though many travel blogs tend to feature trendy and popular places, I still love reading about those places. But, I will do my research and determine if the spot is a good fit for my family. Many travel sites also feature more off-the-beaten-path places and unique destinations I’ve never heard of. I love to read about these places and dream about future trips.
Without the Joneses, I would have no travel inspiration.
Bottom Line
It’s your vacation, do what you want! If that means checking out a place where all the Joneses in your town are going, go for it. Just do your research to make sure it’s the kind of trip that you would really enjoy based on your family’s travel preferences. Enjoying your vacation in its entirety will leave you with better memories than just going to a “meh” place for that perfect Instagram shot.
Is there a travel destination that is popular with the Joneses in your circle that you have not been to yet? Do you get travel inspiration from social media?
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Author: Nancy
Nancy lives near Dallas, Texas, with her husband and three kids. Her favorite vacations include the beach, cruising and everything Disney.
Nancy, I came to this article through the link from Mark Ostermann’s similar article. I’m the guy that created most of that controversy.
These articles are quite similar and I can say I agree with most of your article more than Mark’s article and the prevailing comments as well.
Here’s where I see the 2 articles differ.
1) There’s no negativity toward the Joneses. In Mark’s article and the comments, I saw alot of negativity toward the Joneses and that was my main point of contention. Just because it’s not for you doesn’t mean you need to crap on it. And I don’t see that here. You just state it’s not for you, you state why but you also state that you shouldn’t ignore where the Joneses are going. In Mark’s article (and comments) you get all this negativity such as social media sickness, depression, regret, reckless, shallow, irrational. I thought that’s not the proper perspective. I like yours more.
2) You didn’t crap on the bloggers for catering to the Joneses. It’s a free world. If the bloggers want to cater to the Joneses, how’s that affect you? The bloggers are happy, the Joneses are happy for going, and you’re happy for going.
3) In the end, your conclusion is also my conclusion: “Bottom Line. It’s your vacation, do what you want! If that means checking out a place where all the Joneses in your town are going, go for it.”
And that was my whole point. Let the Joneses do their thing. Make up your mind if you want to follow the Joneses or not. And bottom line, do whatever you want.
@TNT Thank you for sharing your perspective. Over the past few years I’ve become more cynical about influencers, and mainly I want to make sure I’m not getting caught up in the hype of going somewhere that isn’t a good fit for my family. I do feel that many online trip reports and hotel reviews leave out the negatives to get more clicks, so for me it’s important to be able to discern the reality. I suppose I’m a pragmatist.
This is the only place I talk about our travels…I don’t post or really talk about our vacations because we’ll get snarky remarks. This year I went on 6 trips and was able to cross 5 places off my bucket list – that’s huge for me as I grew up poor and never thought this was possible. My husband and children get giddy when they see familiar sights on commercials or movies which is only possible through this hobby. It’s nice to have so many travel options with points…now it’s possible for me to even consider Europe or Japan for the 4 of us.
Well said, Nancy! And just FYI, I lived in NYC for a time 10 years ago and at least back then, with just a little research on which subway stations were open when, I could sleep in and then easily make a relaxed trip midtown (I think to Coumbus Circle and then just walking around from there) to see some of the parade go by. It’s such a long route and the balloons are high up, so there’s actually plenty of space to watch if you don’t need a front row viewing spot in Herald’s Square!
@Debra We thought about going somewhere just to see the balloons go by, but we’re big fans of marching bands so we’d want to be up close for the action. But maybe we should reconsider, because being outside in the freezing weather for hours just isn’t appealing. My kids really want to go back to NYC.
Thanks for the post. I think about this very thing a lot! I love far off places, have been to some, and will go to more at some point. At this stage of our life, we have an almost 3 year old and a baby due in January with busy careers, home remodeling and other responsibilities. So our vacations, since our first child came, have been to the beach or long weekend trips within 2-3 hours driving or flying. They’ve all been great and we’ve explored places we’ve never been, but they have seemed doable given our constraints. Maybe I have the wrong idea. I see some bloggers with little kids traveling to Europe or Southeast Asia, and they survive (which is great), but the thought of us doing those things over the next couple of years just seems like a lot of stress! So I try to keep the travel Joneses in perspective, but it’s also hard because I want to take those trips now as well 🙂 at the same time, we travel more than most people we know and that is a tremendous blessing! Anyway thanks for your blog. One of the reasons I read it is because it feels more relatable to me, at least at this stage of my life.
@Tammie Thanks for your kind words. I know exactly what you mean when you see other families traveling overseas with their little ones. I’ve put off doing that, and we are finally going on a bigger international trip next summer. But my kids will be much older at 8, 11 and 15! And I’m still not sure if they’re old enough, LOL!
This is spot on! For me, it’s a bit of a dual reality. We are simultaneously the Joneses and those who are keeping up with the Joneses (even if the latter is on a subconscious level). My family probably travels more than most people we know IRL We even get snarky remarks on it on occasion, to the point that I don’t talk about it unless asked.
On the other hand, most in the travel hacking community travel waaay more than us. It’s not unusual to fly to Asia for a weekend just to have sushi. For me, it’s a trip I have to plan and save for. It’s important to keep a healthy perspective. Does it *seem* fun to fly to another continent for a weekend? Sure. Is it realistic for someone like myself? Nope.
@Projectx Your comment reminded me of SNL skit called “Cuban vacation” https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_RYCAAAGd9E
Travel community in general frowns upon all-inclusive resorts, and don’t even get me started on cruises! Everyone wants to be considered a “traveler” rather than a “tourist”, whatever that means. The older I get, the more I realize that travel is not “one size fits all.” We would all do better to focus on our own trips and minding our own business.
@Leana I hadn’t seen that SNL skit, funny!
I hadn’t really thought about it until you said it, but maybe my family is the Joneses to some. The people in our area do seem to take extravagant trips, though. This past spring break, both of my younger kiddos said their classes went around the room for each kid to say what they did on spring break. They said there was only a few kids who didn’t travel anywhere.
Some of the trips that people in the travel hacking community take really make me scratch my head. Fly all the way to Hawaii for just 2 nights? No, thanks. If I fly that far, I’m staying longer than that!
“Fly all the way to Hawaii for just 2 nights? No, thanks.”
Yes, this! I see comments about those who spend a long weekend in… Hong Kong. I don’t get it either.
That’s one of the reasons I like your blog so much. It’s much more down to earth and as a family with three young kids, I can relate.
I think the Joneses concept is more pronounced within the travel hacking community. How many times have you heard, “that’s not the best redemption… you should have flown on CX metal in J!” Allow me to translate: “You are clearly not as seasoned of a traveler as I am, as you should have had an aspirational experience.”
Or “You went to an all-inclusive? Yuck… so American. I like to immerse myself in the culture more.” Hey, that’s great… I get that. But don’t belittle someone who decides to take a brainless vacation that allows for little planning ahead of time amidst their busy personal life.
For anyone in this hobby (or whatever you want to call it) I say you do you. If you’d rather use your points for a trip to Disney rather than flying the right “metal” (don’t get me started on referring to planes as metal), have at it.
@projectx Yep, the travel hacking community is definitely an entirely different set of Joneses. I can’t even attempt to keep up with many in this field, nor do I want to.
I do like “brainless” vacations sometimes…in fact, my spring break vacation is just such a trip! We’re planning to stay at the resort and do almost nothing.